why do serial cheaters want to stay married

After that conversation, I found my child and we ran around the play area together. Oh well. He is a serial adulterer, and you are not. What are the warning signs of a cheating partner? HEY WAIT, isnt that what my own semi narcissist husband did to me???? "Your partner doesn't want you to see their private activity, and therefore is purposefully excluding you from a vital portion of their lives." He would get off the phone with me, then be straight on the phone with her. It does not store any personal data. Yet today is the day. She is NOT married to the guy. ago. I should mention that the discovery of this second sexual affair came with the admission that the first, was a full blown sexual affair with someone he was making plans to leave me for. Eyes They think society's rules don't apply to them, i.e., they are sociopathic narcissists. The norms in many cultures strongly frown upon divorce. He may not feel fulfilled by a life of monogamy. In the beginning of every relationship, there's a honeymoon phase when everything's coming up roses, and you can't keep your hands off each other. He tells himself it will never happen again. After a while, you literally dont feel bad about it. You are a good person, dont ever think your not, and dont ever think your not deserving of a happy marriage with your h, because you are. Many of them depend on their serial cheating partners financially. Yes she played a huge role as facilitator but he was a willing victim. They crave attention or an ego boost, so they have an affair. A: We started working on lots of projects together (over a 3 yr period) and the more we worked together the more success we had so our ideas and projects were supported by our boss and peers. Share on Facebook One-time cheaters will back their words up with actions. Linda/Doug, They may carve out a "free night" for themselves, or they will find ways to explain why routine doesn't work with their lifestyle. How To Get A Girlfriend In Real Life? This usually translates into a global disloyalty to everyone in his life. If your h is setting boundaries and saying no an affair wont happen! If I were her, I would have probably called you to hear your side. Do you think you had different reasons for entering into it than your affair partner did? We had a huge heated discussion and I very firmly pointed out how his demeanor sends the wrong message to females. Still, only you know what is right for you to do. "People who say a cheater can't change have never felt the awful guilt that comes when you realize you've . In the beginning, these guys are often friendly, charming, and non-threatening. I made myself nuts during the aftermath trying to answer the whys, not to mention making my H nuts withe the same. They are the weak injured idiots at the back of the pack, waiting to be be taken down. I guess these would be the hard core cheaters, the incorrigibles. Eyes, I wish we could have a wine too, lol. Unless they have undertaken a long-term process of behavioral modification with the help of a professional, it would be better to assume they will not change. He doesnt want to lose half of his money through a messy divorce. Some of them are truly relentless and have no shame and do not even try to hide their intentions. Thats the truth. Without those sob stories they know they are nothing more than feral dogs and the relationship is pointless. This leads to a lot of shame from society. I want you to quit hating yourself and hating HIM! Im getting back to myself, and I like it. I wanted her to know I was leaving my job and taking action and to let her know that I cared that my actions had caused her pain and Id never ever do this again). But it really was. Blame their exes way too much. He may feel that his marriage is over and thats why he cheated. Before we know why they want to remain married, lets talk about a Serial Cheater. But for a serial cheater, this may not be in the case. But the most dangerous one is a Serial Cheater.They will cheat again and again but still want to stay married. He appears to lack a conscience in all of his social dealings. The first thing is they always intend to cheat, and the facts are that not all are equal. There is a saying, once a cheater, always a cheater. But since he was too chicken to man up and put his family first and deal with his mess as soon as he knew it was a mess, here I am. So why do people keep cheating? My h says Im v stressed at the mo. "What do you actually know about your partner's life, their family, upbringing, and personal life?" Of course, you have other options if you feel that you cannot live without the lying cheat. So SR to answer your question. She doesnt have the guts to face me and I figured as much just trying to confirm it and it was confirmed two times over. As relationship expert and author April Masini tells Bustle, serial cheaters are used to cheating. Addiction plays a role in their life. He doesnt want to leave his home, his family, and the life that hes grown accustomed to. A serial cheater is a person who intends to cheat even on their Wedding day. It was a beautiful time, but you know that was as tainted as they come, of a wedding anniversary. In his defense, which you wont hear often, lol, I have never heard my husband flirt or act inappropriately with any other woman in public or in my presence. How do you keep stuffed peppers from getting watery? Most cheaters do not intend to cheat. I know you will be happy, and in all honesty, from me to you, your ap, didnt deserve you, you deserve to be with your family, and I know you have had so much guilt, and so many reservations, when it comes to your h and you that has held you back a bit getting closer to your h, but I know you both are turning that around, and it does take time, but I know by what you have said about your h, he really does love you. There are many reasons, Dr. Edelman explains. I would never intentionally say anything to hurt someone, well yes I would if they are a total asshole but certainly not anyone really trying to do right. So some are very good at getting different people to respond, and they can cheat. Possiblymany couples do. He didnt get to go through all his explanations and get his ego stroked anymore. Yeah well she was fired after oh about 6 months. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Because some men cheat more for the thrill of it, rather than any ill feelings towards their marriage. But Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) does make someone far more likely than the ordinary person to be unfaithful to their partner. Your right, while we were celebrating our 21st wedding anniversary, it would have drove her nuts, being on the other side of the phone, wondering what he was doing while with me. Now Im married, Im even more bemused as to how my (married) AP could live with himself. It is to introvertsRosa Parks, Chopin, Dr. Seuss, Steve Wozniakthat we owe many of the great contributions to society. That can take a long time . In the comments to my previous posts on adultery, one recurring theme dealt with "serial" adulterers, people whose behavior shows a pattern of repeated cheating.This can involve repeated affairs . When you said you felt like you had to be someone that you were not when your H cheated, I remembered how my fiance was trying to get me to be a more boisterous and socially aggressive person. She had arranged it, and had placed them down as h and w, but using her first name and our surname. The phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater," is almost widely accepted, but when it comes to serial cheaters, the cheating often doesn't stop. They show a lack of remorse and empathy. New beginnings and happy days ahead ( although some concrete floors and plasterboard walls to be finished .). It may reflect future behavior. It's even harder when you realize it may not be the first time your partner has cheated on you or on their former partners. They enjoy the thrill of experiencing something new. thank you for the info, Sarah P! Another one of the most common reasons cheating husbands stay married is fear of what they might be losing. said cheating is subjective because different people have different boundaries. They like deceit. Unfortunately, he may not realize that staying in an unhappy marriage can create a far more toxic environment for them. Yourself and Linda have also come such a long way, and I know that if I hadnt of found your site, I would have left my h at the beginning of last year, when I found that he was still lying and seeing his ow, while I had moved house, moved from my family and friends, my oldest children, while I tried to adjust our younger children to their new surrounds, while I tried to get my children through all of their tantrums, of having no friends, no family except for me, and occasionally their dad. The wife made the fatal error of trusting him AGAIN!!! Its like they say, misery loves company. The ow, we talk about, are the ones that have no conscience, who seek out married men to manipulate and take the life of the unsuspecting wife. They may also enjoy the ego boost, or the thrill of sneaking around. Here are some common traits that repeat cheaters share. Im no psychiatrist but Im learning to spot those Narcs a mile away. 4. And guess what, there is always another OW or OM to be the supplier of that high. . "Women's greatest fear is they'll become bag ladies," says Gilda Carle, Ph.D . It is what I had suspected all along. Anyhow I think Im going to take a break but Ill probably be back tomorrow ha! I have a question for you if you do not mind. He IS a tosser! They will not own their actions. My first husband was excellent sexually, yet I cheated on him with mr. It is a good thing he came to his senses for many reasons. anyway husband, or anyone else in the past, has acted inappropriately with other women in my prescense presence, just behind my back. My spidey-senses say that she is a black widow waiting in the wings, planning when to pounce. Ohhh and then she would go psycho, because of course he wouldnt turn his phone off for her, I must have done something to him. Covert narcissists will also shut down and withdraw more readily than grandiose narcissists. It is horrible. Your partner is abusive or controlling. Answer (1 of 19): I was just 18 when first married. Hes learned to look past the flattery. Yes parking lot ass kicking she will understand. But he always, always, always finds away to displace blame. He knew how to cast the line to see if shed bite and she bit, all he had to do was reel her in and brush up on his cunning so his wife could be fooled again. Oh, no! Keep in mind, they're chronic liars, but they're not smarter than everyone else. My h ow, was also recently separated, kids, broke, stressing out how she was going to pay for her family, so of course all the sob stories to my h were about that too, ohhh how am I going to live, where am I going to live, blah blah blah.

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why do serial cheaters want to stay married