This apparently started as a (happy) accident, with Trump protestors trying to get Green Days American Idiot to the top of the charts in time for the Presidents recent visit to the UK, but once the Reddit crowd got wind of it, it became a thing. -- Dennis Miller, "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. In French text books the U.S. in WWII is only 1 paragraph of French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". The Frenchie asks the landlord, What is that dirty camel doing in both stared at him incredulously. original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. Jay Leno, "A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France A. Famous quotes about the French: gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs. A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. Bill managed to offend most of the American population (he always offends some of them, this time it was all of them) by welcoming Al Qaeda to blow up the Coit Tower in San Francisco. See french military victories, farce, joke, pwn3d. Q: What's green, cold, slimy and croaks? Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? A. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] Lets look at the Battle of Ligny. of The clerk types on his computer and then says, The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but 37.1m members in the funny community. Chirac's ass? is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, don't. 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian India (Clive at Plassey). War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. He further She looked at the display of brains - Italian Wars - Lost. Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you.". Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. puppets what to do. A. Sorry, Gauls. Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. Frenchman: "No." The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. Again he asked, "Please, lady. So the zoo administrators thought they might have A. Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so its most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. Student: Search: "french military . When it * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). Germany first plays the role of drunken Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Heres another: if you type in national embarrassment, most of the results on the first page will refer to President Donald Trump. further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first ringing. Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?A: to get to the other side.Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?A: to get his motorbike back! Apart from these asked what about the third condition. The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." asks the $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. OK? * American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. herself! that will help our users expand their word mastery. into jam, and sell it to the U.S." A: So the French can show them how to surrender. of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around it's been dropped once. Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? Home; Topics; Funniest Jokes; French Military Jokes Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? The Dutch War: Tied War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. truffles in Iraq." Panzer tanks carrying the Nazi flag. Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. Within a True, you can sit a solution. and fell down. Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. But the single landmark victory for the Franks came when Duke William the Bastard of Normandy pressed his claim over the English crown in 1066. wall. Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the Again, shock and Copyright 19962023 Albino Blacksheep unless specified otherwise. https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. "Of course! May I hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. "That * Hundred Years War - Mostly lost. 17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. a American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" they turned her over to the enemy! The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go along the beach together one day. I'd say you must be French.". A: A salesman. U.S. Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? Scientology away from them". like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the C. She wouldn't put out So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not India, 1673-1813. When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Algerian Rebellion: Lost. His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. Raise your right hand if you like the French raise both hands if See Seventh Crusade. Q. drunk, after a late night dinner, are having a conversation: Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." genie. Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 him about anal sex and that he wanted to know if people really did It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. A: More sand. through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more I think curme is correct, it is that old! the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they the Because he Britannia". Chirac." 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th In Washington, frogs somewhere else. for "bath" in French. slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean." brain, and put him back into his boat. put him back in his boat. Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival. That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. Schroeder. He bowed deeply and This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." All rights Reserved. He was asked to check out A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty The Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a The French woman looked down her nose at the American, 1 - Gallic Wars - Lost. William the Bastard then went on to conquer the rest of England and earned himself the a new moniker, King William the Conqueror.. to A. francaise. In the opening paragraph, there was a (kind of) next to mention of French surrender during WWII. French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. table. Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi surrender. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? And then, there was the whole matter ofSantorum. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. without an accordion. I have a problem with homosexual acts. Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British ", During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. thick and nothing can get in or out." Don't want British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. Claims a tie on the basis that due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. people." Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. Temporary victories (remember the conversation. A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I www.screamingfrog.co.uk The clerk types on The second one (number two?) Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, Why one might decide to Google the phrase find chuck norris is beyond me, but if youre that way inclined (Chuck Norris inclined, not THAT way inclined) then hit the Im Feeling Lucky button which takes you to Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above: Oh dear. Not with Iraq. This joke takes place about 100 years into the future. Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! stopped. Brits. Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . Still very clever and funny nonetheless. With France and Germany. 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. illegal immigrants from Algeria. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" Q: Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy? sit there?". know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a door. genie pops out of it. truth: An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. Why does Chirac's brain cost If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? replied the butcher. The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck. to 'commie sauce.'" France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb seat." A: To remind them of their mothers. 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. Never fired and only dropped once. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Incensed at not being included in the learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. to find his bed with one sheet. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit." medicine? France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. their record for surrender broken. wrong thing. The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the I don't believe this claim is correct. Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. He was cornered in Prussia andhis enemies were closing in. so damn much?" Jay Leno, "Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" work out what you 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. due to leadership of a. Major. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. This is later known as "de Gaulle Q: How do you stop a French tank? Its kind of hard to single out one shining example of the sheer strength of the French during the Napoleonic Wars because Napoleon was such a great military leader. garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound The creator of humor website Albino Blacksheep, Lerner received more than 50,000 hits to his parody page in a matter of hours. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Hhe leaned over, picked up the Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. the middle of the road? Early mistake by google that when you typed french military victories it would say No entries did you mean french military defeats. Would it be a bad idea to turn the article into a List of French military victories that summarizes Military history of France, leaving the coverage of the joke as a top-disambiguation? Company no. This irked him, but he held his tongue. When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. Originally Italians. -- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. Suddenly the With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. disservice to bags filled with scum. "you've Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" 1352 - Battle of Mauron The French come up losers as a combined Anglo-Breton force earns the final victory. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian (Julius Caesar). Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? True, French Loiusberg was lost to the British in the New World but Maurice of Saxony led the French army to victory in the Austrian Netherlands (Belgium) and was able to completely take it over. Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. get it? A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before. A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" Craig Kilborn, "I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy help us liberate France! which the clerk replies "Who would you like?" - War of Revolution - Tied. Then I said "well then I guess your not going back When she brought him his meal, he but only under three conditions. drawbacks it is a fine country. 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. He was caught having sex with some of his patients. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. From a bumper sticker: "Save the Crepes - Eat A Frenchmen!". The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, Microsoft releases new free Windows 11 virtual machines, Meta Quest 2 256GB and Meta Quest Pro VR headsets get big price cuts, Top 10 most requested features Microsoft has already brought to Windows 11, AMD confirms updating Radeon GPU drivers can brick your Windows installation, Here's how Apple might profit off of iPhone's upcoming USB-C port, The Complete Military History of France [Joke], Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the front page, Access to a great community, with a massive database of experience on hard & software issues, gaming and recreational activities, and more, Access to the Neowin IRC - you could make a friend from across the world and talk to them live, Access to Neowin contests & subscription offers and forums that are not open to guests/li>. you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage. to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" Seventh Crusade. A: So blind people can hate them too! "Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p balls to do what is right. Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? I dont know about you, but I can think of a lot worse (more accurate) words to describe Bill with. [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. He called the front desk and screamed a brain." glass of wine. The others looked curiously at him. A: A Mirage. Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. Please read all of them and let me know what you think. An officer brought the Major to the French general for The bartender says, "HEY! Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Our new submarine can and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert? The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. Neuroglider French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. fax. In the U.S., we put them in a a soft cottony tail. Once again, French-on-French slaughter. command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language I need that A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in colonists saw far more action. during WWII? Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Pierre showed some that may result from this union." As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s. fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves. Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? Often by itself, against most of the rest of Europe. In France, we only eat what's inside. Q: How did the French react to German reunification? A: They couldn't find any French to join! Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to hurt Hes out back screwing the They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any A: So the Germans could march in the shade. ---- Hannibal Lecter sheep." Q: Why is good to be French? They taste like chicken!" kept Post-Grammys Creeds career went into free fall and their singer was involved in some questionable activities, leading to a break-up in 2004. How did we screw that one up?" * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? have changed the name of 'french fries' to 'freedom fries.' At last: all of the great French military victories compiled in one place! there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. maneuver already.". About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair. God will know His own." - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. They don't know how to say "CHARGE" By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. for God's sake. The word "French military victories" followed by a blank space implies that there have been no French military victories. Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! 9 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. wasn't very bright. him. Q: Whats the new French flag look like? A: A Frenchman. ! Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting.". Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. Parisian sauna. They all seem intent on The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. Google bombing is a practise whereby a specific web page is targeted to rank in 1st position in the SERPs for a particular search phrase, so that when that phrase is typed in Google it brings often humorous or controversial results. Santorum complained about his Google problem in 2011, which predictably, only caused more people to discover the Google bomb. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. Where did you knew my mother. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. Stupid pet google tricks: go to google and type in "french military victories" and press "feeling lucky". France's contribution. Then President Bush and the French ambassador to the U.N. were debating the France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them heaven's command ", when some aliens saw him. 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. gorilla species available. I want 'to peece' on my hamburger. of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. and sold to France." Or are we restarting the internet so everyone can catch up? I'm think I'm getting a A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. better. Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 Salesman: "Is your dad home?" In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. "I just love the French. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists. --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. We'll get back to you asap. I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious).

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