Sucked it up and did what I had to do for my kids. I do love her a lot as a person but i am not in love with her. The ex and i still argue sometimes but you have to learn when to shut up. I pretended to be. It tears me apart. we ended u divorcing in 6 years anyway. back out now, "Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. ( though I don't see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. That doesn't mean you give up your relationship w/the child, you will have to share custody, and likely pay support (unless you have the kid more than she does, but that's rare). My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. He's controlling. Even when you first meet your new child, don't put expectations on how you should feel. @jessi, how come i never get to meet these kind of guys,i swear i would have cut off your stupid sausage,put in the toilet and flush it off nonsence, @jessi, maame plz its rude to cut sumones sausage.sincerely the fault might come from the gal,maybe she did self arrangement ahohyehy3.and resulted in the pregnancy. Opinions please. We didn't have to be. Rightfully so! They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. Just not with her. Source these things out and make a plan to leave. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. You're a mom now. Good luck to you. That's when one of them dropped the term . I don't know what I'm asking for, I'm just venting at the moment. Ive just seen your reply and am unhappoy in my relationship but dont want to end it for the kids sake! When we found out this baby is a boy, the feeling of disconnection multiplied; I know this baby is going to be like his daddy. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. DO YOU WANT TO CHILD TO HAVE A MESSED UP UPBRINGING LIKE YOU DID? I JUST came here to vent not telling people I'm snobby or lazy which I've never been! Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. As I said earlier, each person has different needs. No we were together 3 months when I got pregnant. Forgotting that there's gonna be 3 children in his life forever? All i will advice him to do is to sit the girl in question down and talk to her in a matured way. (1 to 2 kg . 2. I don't want to burden her with any of this, especially now that she needs to be calm and feel secure. She has someone who depends solely on her. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. I don't need judge mental opinions just ideas and support. THAT'S IT. I was supposed to be the one. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. If you don't love her then don't be with her. I try to act normal as Bella and I sit here talking, even though I'm feeling abnormally attracted to her even . She has done nothing wrong and I feel I am just going to destroy her life! the woman would be unhappy, miserable and resentful as well in the long run for marrying a man who doesnt love her or care if she exists. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! We work hard to share our most timely and active conversations with you. It was required that women felt their decreased desire was significantly lower than that of their partner's. The authors interviewed 15 women between the ages of 25 and 59. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). But kids are smarter than you think. Time to grow up! A. . Im in the exact same boat man. marriage should not be a punishment or a form of contract. You both mature guys so kindly sit her down and explain with vital reasons to her as to why just cant marry her but be sure to do it in a spirit of gentleness less you provoke her and all plans fade cos gals can be crazy at times when provoked. Lastly, keeping a child she wanted to abort could cause her to hate the child, it's not guaranteed she would love the child when it was born. a deed frowned upon by society and seen as a problem The deed has already been done instead of advising and coming up with ways to make sure the child is brought up in a obviously deserving loving environment that the child needs instead of an environment filled with resentment, hate, misery, spitefulness etc etc, you all are pushing.insulting and forcing the guy to guy marry the girl in question.. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. Begin speaking about the kids, as well, mentioning different accomplishments they've made lately . Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think. Mia, the fascinating thing about postpartum depression and anxiety is that it isn't logical. What issues have you two had? After a while it was better but even now when we get into arguments he's so controlling and condescending it just makes me like him less and less. Girlfriend Brokeup while pregnant. Immerse yourself in nature. "All of the rational thoughts. Do i tell my boyfriend i slept with someone else during short break up? Does the father know? It's like I've been sleepwalking all this timeI apologize for my rumbling, i really needed to get this off my chest. form is an illusion. You should have your own baby feelings figured out. I would start making a game plan, create a change. You could split amicably and try to remain friends to do what's best for the child. Sooner or later it'll be over. I know most of yall are gonna tell me to leave him and I wish it was that easy. Is anyone in the same situation. They didn't want to break up the family. SCENARIO 3: FORGET ABOUT THE WOMAN YOU LOVE. Now it is tearing me apart. I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. If I could do something different, it would be to divorce as soon as my last daughter was born. I got pregnant with a 34 year old man with another baby and I'm only 19 we've know each other 3 months now but only knew each other a couple weeks when we found out. Please, please do not have an abortion like somebody commented. You said you quit your job Is that because of the pregnancy? Also, don't give her a dime of your money towards the baby until you find out if it's yours. 1. No passion. Friends with benefits are often just friends who you sleep with, with no emotional attachment. Here Are 10 Behaviors A Woman Exhibits When She's In Love 1. Eventually I grew to love him, but not the fairy tale kind of love. Sounds like she was looking for a sugar daddy and ended up getting pregnant. My two oldest remember some fighting and the divorce. The longer you stay with him the more he's going to think you do have feelings for him and it will only hurt him more in the end. THE CHILD UNSTABLE, EVEN MORE **** UP. At the end of the day, you won't be able to find happiness that you have been looking for. Cookie Notice So remember to try to be the best of you. More answers below Quora User Managing Partner (Solicitor) & Mechanical Engineer Author has 20.3K answers and 10.7M answer views 1 y Personally, I think you should only have sex with people you are in love with. if she wants to put kid in day care every day, she can and you pay for it). long story short. Most were married to . Tell her at home and in private. SAY IT AGAIN! So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has 35 weeks - desperate to getto finish line ?? Chandra is a mom of three boys (8, 4, and 3) and the founder of Oh Lovely Day, a lifestyle blog with a honest look at motherhood.She is trying to create more of an open dialogue with a no . The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. FTM. If I cant love her now, what are the possibilities that Ill love her? You have a hard decision to make. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. @jessi, LMFAOI like ur commentVery BLUNT and to the POINT. So family pressured us to get married. Satisfaction can be found through bringing up children . Suck it up because you didn't do her any favours having to live with you either. Good luck! No one would want their daughter and unborn grandchild in that type of situation. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. My current girlfirend got pregnant while on the mini pill. Twins & Multiples: Your Tentative Time Table, Planned c section too presumptuous??? You may want to consider marriage counseling talk to your pastor, priest whatever. Either way, I was ready to "play house". I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. Even though you never had the intention to have a serious relationship with your current partner, you still need to discuss the problem with him. ( though I dont see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. You will love that baby no matter what when it gets here! On the other hand, if you do not love her but only want the child, it is also very selfish of you. In fact, before we found out I was pregnant (which was completely unplanned) I was thinking of breaking up with him. Just that simple. The episode was written by Jennifer Crittenden and . He's controlling you since you are 100% dependent on him. He's not all bad. Man up and take care of your kid, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you let her, or her family, or your family guilt trip you into "doing the right thing" and marrying her. (5 kg) or more a year after giving birth, Live Science previously reported. I FEEL SORRY FOR THE GIRL INVOLVED. you have a baby with a girl you dont love,but you loved her apple enough to eat it without any protection?stupid talk,absolute rubbish. To not make the problem goes worse, be responsible for your unwanted partner and the baby. You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. My friends-with-benefits and I are having a baby (6 months along). MUST READ: Is Christmas Bibilical Or Paganism? Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. as expected the women are been overly sentimental, ganging up on the guy insulting, and throwing reason out the window. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. Also, you must then decide if you want to be in the child's life, how you will coordinate co-parenting a kid when you're not in a relationship, etc. Women, in particular, have a growing awareness of the benefits of having babies when they're ready and not having more than they can provide for. That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. The stories of council-flat, benefit scrounger single mums are so far-fetched. Nobody forces you to live with him, if you really don't like him, you can find a job and leave. They finally divorced when I was 19. You have to remember you are only going to be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be one. It just reads so snobby and lazy. There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. I know many people that don't feel a connection to their babies for whatever reason until they are born, it happens and it will definitely change once you see his little face. I want to be a father!!! If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. And a bit frightening. Cost Of Food At The Plush Restaurant Of Akufo-Addos Daughter Causes Stir Online Video, Richie Mensah Confirms Kuami Eugenes Deal With Empire, Hw3 Nie Okyer3 Bi Watch Epic Moment Joselyn Dumas Stood Inches In Sight Of Her Least Favourite Fan, Be Careful, She Destroyed Moesha And Hajia 4 Real Fella Makafui Warned Over Friendship With Salma, Alan Cash, Kwasi Nyantakyi, Kwasi Appiah, Kurt Okraku And Other Dignitaries Storm Christian Atsus One Week Celebration, This Is Like A Hair Dressing Salon Social Media Trolls Tonardo After Flaunting His Sakatuu Living Room. I was done. But we started fighting more and more. Privacy Policy. It was enough for me to be content, while I gave the kids a life that I never had. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. I was By entering this site you declare THE MOTHER KNOWS THE FATHER DOESNT LOVE HER NOW GUESS WHAT SHE IS ALSO MISARABLE! Everyone is happier. And which case, most would be use safe sex and if thy got pregnant, they would try for an abortion. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. cos no parents will watch their daughter to be ignore by a guy whom impregnated her\.. and am not even sure de gurl will accept that U must learn how to love her love grows strongly if u give it a chance.. give that a try ok without causin her much pain. This may not change her decision, but best to be honest. We are two total opposite people. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. It happens almost all the time that children involved in such situations rather suffer the consequencies. ISNT THAT WHAT WE ALL WANT? Sadly having a baby can create a rift between parents. Add to Collection. My ex won't come back to me after I hurt h Ex girlfriend is pregnant with her new boyfriend months after breaking up with me. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). 1997-2023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. General Baby Shower Wishes And Congratulations. Add to Favorites. Yes, you can still be happy in a relationship without being married. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. I was in love with someone else. He shdnt forget the welfare of the child involved. The altnerative is to stay with a woman you don't love and that is a lose-lose all around, even for the kid who will be able to sense his parents don't love each other. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. And the best way to do it is to proof to anyone that this version of you is so much better than you were. Married for few months. Don't feel guilty if you're not in a constant state of love and bliss when you have a new baby. My only advice is to make sure you don't make your or your wife or your baby's life miserable. One in 4 women will hang onto 11 lbs. Long story short: we've togheter Long distance girlfriend pregnant and is thinking about breaking up. You're an adult. hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. Third, if someone chooses to have an abortion that is their choice, not yours. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. @Teejay,hahahahaha, that cracked me up, but coming back to the issue, what da hell???? Does he still love me? The thought of her raising my kid with another man makes me feel sick, I hate this. Love My Boyfriend Wants To Have A Baby With Another Woman By Alex Alexander Written on Dec 23, 2022 Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock When I met my polyamorous boyfriend , Buddy, I couldn't. I do want to be a father but i always imagined it different, like being with a woman that i am in love with. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. But the decision that you take will not only have an impact in your life, but in others people's life too. Knowing that you don't want to have the relationship with someone, you will never be able to fake your feelings for temporary happiness. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. Single. I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. You wouldn't happen to be burning a bra right about now would you? We keep them up because there are a ton of great conversations here and we believe you deserve to see them all. Also my ex is unlikely to have children which in her case actually doesn't matter to me. Why not abortion?? cos it not easy to becme a single mother huh. He nearly killed you. Ex My moving on process. He is capable of choosing to be with you and not having a child with you, or leaving if he decides he wants a child more. You have to do what you feel is right. Then suddenly she is all happy, and loved up which I find really hard to believe. 2) Are you prepared to forego this child and create a loving family with someone you truly love (which means you will wait for this new love to bear you a child).but be completely guilty all your life to abandon your first newborn just because you dont love your girlfriend. You are right it is not fair to her. dont do it I married my ex for the same reasons it was terrible for not only us but my children. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. Keep looking down and feeling like you don't deserve something good won't get you anywhere. Don't create a situation where you are stuck and can be controlled like that. NOW WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY OF US HAD MESSED UP CHILDHOOD? She needs someone that truly loves her. Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. Apparently that first year of raising the child is very stressful, specifically on the relationship. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. My boyfriend and I have only been together since November we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. Glancing over my shoulder in a coffee shop, I saw a couple of women, both bouncing perfectly content babies on their laps. If something that can work out for you to try loving her, that would be most ideal. Being in a loveless relationship is not a good example for the LO you already have and the one on the way. Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . It's no one else's responsibility to support you. You've been clear with him from the start. In fact, I was planning on breaking up with him right before I found out I was pregnant. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. No going back. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice.

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